It Get’s Better, Right?

I met John a couple years ago and talked about him in a blog post. Last week I was back in John’s camp. He isn’t doing as well as he was the last time I saw him.

He is very soft spoken, so much so you have to almost read lips to follow what he’s saying. When he wants to make sure you hear what he says, he clears his throat and his voice gets stronger. During a pause in our conversation, he looked me straight in the eyes, not something John does very often, and asked me, while shaking his head yes ever so gently, “It gets better, right?”

Understand that on John’s best day, it is hard to tell whether he is completely cognizant, through all parts of the conversation. Every once in awhile though, there is no doubt he is in the here and now, and this was one of those times. There was no fogged sight or stumbled speech. He knew exactly what he was asking and so did I.

When you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone whose focus tends to wander back and forth between what’s being said and something or somewhere else, when they break through all the clouds and mist to ask a question as serious as this, it can startle you. It is kind of like talking on a cell phone when you’re right on the edge of dropping the call and then having it come in loud and strong. It can startle you. Johns’s question startled me.

I stammered and stuttered a little but then tried to recover. In the end, I guess I did all right by most standards, but not by John’s. As much as I shared my Faith and as much as I shared the differences it has made in my life, as much as I said all the right things, it didn’t do what John needed done. The mist came back into his eyes. Though it bothers me and makes me feel like I failed John, I’m not sure words could answer John’s question.

I made sure I shook his hand, touch is important to someone who feels a little like a leper. I made sure I looked him straight in the eye, when he would look up at me. I told him I would pray for him if he prayed for me, he said he would. I don’t really know where John is in his walk with the Lord, it’s kind of hard to find out specific things from John.

I walked away feeling like there was more that should have happened, more that should have been said, but I sure didn’t know what those things were. John certainly needs some counseling and some rehab, not necessarily for substance abuse. I think John needs treatment because of the abuse of life. I think he needs rehab so he can find his way back because if there is one thing I know for certain about John, it’s that he is lost.

Don’t get me wrong, John has made decisions along the way that were probably not the best, but I’m not sure John has ever had, what we would call, a normal life. He doesn’t have that air about him that he had a family once.

John’s question still weighs on me because in John’s case, I’m not sure that it does get better.

I don’t usually ask this on here but I would really appreciate a prayer or two for John. And if you could pray that next time I get asked a question like that, I have a better answer, that would be great too.

Life Isn’t Fair

Life isn’t fair, that’s true. I’ve asked myself many times, why can’t life just be fair? As I’ve gotten older and had more time to think about it, thank God life isn’t fair.

If life was fair, I know that I personally, would be in serious trouble. No, I’m not an axe murderer but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have plenty to look back on in shame. The thing is, most of the people who know me now, didn’t know me then. And even the people who knew me then, didn’t know much of what they thought they knew about me.

I believe that God started out treating us fair, but it didn’t take much time at all before we proved that we wouldn’t ever be able to handle that. No, the first two of us didn’t handle getting treated fair very well at all and we just went on downhill from there. (Gen 3:6) So then, because we couldn’t survive being treated fair, the way we should have been treated, God sent His Son down. (John 3:16)

Jesus, being completely without sin,(1 Pete 2:22) was crucified for all that we did wrong and even for those things that we would continue to do wrong. If there was ever anyone who wasn’t treated fair, it was Jesus. His soul was spotless, not a sin to His name. Even when He became angry at the money changers in the temple, He wasn’t lost in sinful anger but only showing righteous indignation for the disrespect shown His Father’s house. (Mat 21:12)

No, not a sin to His name but yet, He was crucified. He took the place of all of us that could never earn our way into Heaven and made it so we didn’t have to.(Rom 6:6) It isn’t our works that get us in, which is the best news ever because Heaven would be an awful lonely place if it counted on us to earn our entrance fee. (Eph 2:8-9)

I think that’s one of the things a lot of people don’t understand about what Jesus did by hanging on the cross. Following Jesus isn’t about being perfect because we will never be. Following Jesus isn’t about never making mistakes because we always will. We all fall short. (Rom 3:23) All of us, every single one. Think about the most righteous, godly person you know and then realize that even they fall short. Even they don’t have a chance to do it on their own. Even they are blessed that God doesn’t treat them fair. Even them.

So when things aren’t going my way and I know I’ve done my best. When things happen out of the blue that knock the wind out of my sails. When nothing I do seems to turn out right and my mind wanders down that familiar path that says, life’s not fair, I try my very best to look up and praise God that life isn’t fair and that He treats me so much better than I deserve because if He treated me the way that I deserved to be treated, my story would have ended a long time ago and it wouldn’t have been pretty, either.
All Glory To GOD!